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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 14:50:52 GMT -5
next topic...secret door (you must explore)
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 15:27:56 GMT -5
next topic...secret door (you must explore) ok... I am in this one CD... then I need to continue tonight later..ok... don't want to go but I got some thing to do... ah.............. wish I can glue on the computer table and never need to eat or drink and just to write and rhyme!!! anyway... just like a coffe break, I'll be back in no time.. |
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 15:49:05 GMT -5
next topic...secret door (you must explore)  secret door
I was blind in all my life
see no stars in the day
see no sun at the night
but ever since I strolling into the door
there are suns and moons starry lights!
Often winters are chilly cold
seldom have enough warm lights
people faces are often sorrow
but I can not stop to smile...
for the secret door showing me wise!
I feel lonely days and nights
no body can comfort my heart
now that I am not surprise
dwelling sweet feeling so vast...
for the secret door calling me run fast!........ [/size] |
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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 15:56:39 GMT -5
22 minutes but where is the rhyme scheme
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 23:16:41 GMT -5
22 minutes but where is the rhyme scheme hi CD, can you teach me how to over come this rhyme scheme problems? please? and just take some lines from my poem to let me know ? obviously I don't understand in the first place  ... so that I will repeat again :'(and again later ...so can you just take out some lines in my poem and show them to you please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you CD! |
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Post by cdlight on Feb 22, 2009 3:30:40 GMT -5
sunny this one is written in rhyming couplets...
aa,bb,cc,dd,ee,ff
Poetry Pill
Imagine a pill with emotions inside
a place where addictions all seem preside
One simple sample is all that one needs
to become a poetry junkie like me
You'll see vivid colors as you follow along
black and white words like rhythms of songs
some touch your soul still making you fend
while others leave you wondering what it all means
It's never the same and that draws you in
to retake this pill again and again
I tried the Poetry Pill and now I can quit
Here's one pill for you, go ahead take a hit
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Post by cdlight on Feb 22, 2009 3:37:38 GMT -5
Sunny this one has an internal rhyme scheme to it
a,a,
b,
c,c,
b
d,d
e
f,f
e...ect
and that is for each stanza
Dying Day (Requested)
Car crash, face smashed
Critical condition
No hope, lumped throat
Just call it intuition
Hand holding, faith folding
What else can I do?
Flashbacks, think back
The times of me and you
White bed, almost dead
Still I'm by your side
Last breath, ‘fore death
You ask us not to cry
Can't take it, won't make it
What am I to do?
No games, the same
After losing you
So strong, your mom
As we embrace and cry
EKG, beep bee….
Why'd you have to die?
My friend, the end
I'm trying to be strong
Request, one guest
Can I come along?
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Post by cdlight on Feb 22, 2009 3:55:42 GMT -5
Sunny, this one could have been written in rhyming couplets, but I wanted the smaller lines to have equal value...
a,b,b,c,d,d...etc
Life After Death
My eyes swell up
My heart gets weak
Every time I think about the way you would speak
My first true love
My last true loss
I reminisce so our paths can still cross
Time used to fly by
Now it stands still
But I press forth in life with my broken will
A union of one
A death of two
Flash backs of the day I said, “I do.”
Reserve me a seat
I won't be long
It's not too much longer that I can hold on
I've witnessed your departure
But can feel your existence
As my heart finds a median to argue for resistance
I'm living in past love
Dying in a current lie
I'd give anything to be right by your side
I love you now
I loved you then
Looking forward to dying so I can live again
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Post by cdlight on Feb 22, 2009 4:06:29 GMT -5
Your rhyme is inconsistent...the letters represent the last word in each line...look at it again and see what I mean..
this is why I say the first stanza is like a contract to the reader
I would expect to see a,b,c,d,e, f,g,h,i,h, because that is the pattern I saw in the first stanza... I hope that helps
secret door
by Sunny
I was blind in all my life a
see no stars in the day b
see no sun at the night c
but ever since I strolling into the door d
there are suns and moons starry lights! c
Often winters are chilly cold e
seldom have enough warm lights f (c)
people faces are often sorrow g
but I can not stop to smile... h
for the secret door showing me wise! i
I feel lonely days and nights j (c)
no body can comfort my heart k
now that I am not surprise l
dwelling sweet feeling so vast... m
for the secret door calling me run fast!........ m
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Post by cdlight on Feb 22, 2009 5:59:11 GMT -5
next topic...cats and dogs
topics can have more that one poets response
CD
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Post by cdlight on Feb 25, 2009 2:45:39 GMT -5
 Here's a pic to help you get started CD |
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Post by sunny on Feb 25, 2009 8:26:02 GMT -5
Here's a pic to help you get started CD ok I only have about 10 mintues to write then I need to run.... God bless me ok! you bless me too? hug |
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Post by sunny on Feb 25, 2009 8:35:40 GMT -5
[img src="[http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e92/atb224155/Dogs/Cats%20and%20Dogs/cats-and-dogs-6.jpg"]
Like Good Friends Do
a,a,.......... Could I call you cute baby, or cat lady,
b, ............ you can call me fuzzy dear,
c,c, .......... I tell you a story, you won't be sorry,
b ............ so come to me near,
d,d........... I 'v learned a song, all night long
e ............. Can I sing for you?
f,f.............. let's go for a walk, we cat and dog,
e... ............ like good friends do! [/b] )I;ll write more tonight CD or fix it up... for now... good day my freind! hug!) I fix it now CD... though I use two times... but I don't think I use more than a hour... let me know if I get it or not ... or what should I fix , ok? I will fix till it right ok. |
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Post by sunny on Feb 25, 2009 21:53:04 GMT -5
Like Good Friends Do
..................dog speaks to the cat...............
Could I call you cute baby, or cat lady,
you can call me fuzzy dear,
I tell you a story, you won't be sorry,
so come to me near,
I 'v learned a song, all night long,
Can I sing for you?
let's go for a walk, we cat and dog,
like good friends do! [/b][/center] (I'll write more tonight CD or fix it up... for now... good day my freind! hug!) I fix it now CD... though I use two times... but I don't think I use more than a hour... let me know if I get it or not ... or what should I fix , ok? I will fix till it right ok. |
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... so that I will repeat again :'(and again later ...so can you just take out some lines in my poem and show them to you please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you CD!
all
time for me 
echoes, hope you all are doing well 
Hello everyone, sorry I have been away from the site so long but I was swamped with work 
Aug 5, 2021 14:19:11 GMT -5
*
Hello everyone, sorry I have been away from the site so long but I was swamped with work 
Aug 5, 2021 14:19:11 GMT -5
*