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Post by Lisa Arnold on Apr 8, 2010 0:52:59 GMT -5
SANCTUARY
moans
from vacant
soul beckon
in the wind
midnight
skyline
moonlit
glow
torrential
rains
fall
scattered
footsteps
caked
in mud
broken soul
seeks
sanctuary
from weight of
life's misery
another dawn
awakens
offering mercy
of rescue
© 2010 Lisa Arnold
*this version is slightly different from when it was first posted  [/size][/b][/center] |
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Post by bridge on Apr 8, 2010 1:02:42 GMT -5
very good Lisa!
flows well and paints a vivid picture, enjoyed!
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Post by Betty on Apr 8, 2010 1:07:44 GMT -5
soild write, told with great conviction and grace  love these lines: "broken soul
seeks
sanctuary
from a life
never began
another dawn
awakens
without mercy
or rescue"
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Post by ciara on Apr 8, 2010 1:13:48 GMT -5
 you do spin a "story" well in your poetry...well-expressed and written I like this part: moans from vacant soul beckon in the wind
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Post by Sierra on Apr 8, 2010 1:21:26 GMT -5
Lisa, this is a brief write that says so much, excellent poem!
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Apr 8, 2010 1:25:13 GMT -5
many thanks Dan!  so much dear Betty! Ciara, I thank you deeply! Sierra, thanks so much for commenting! I hope you all have a great day   |
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Post by backstreetdreamer on Apr 8, 2010 1:52:10 GMT -5
Hello Lisa, I echo the comments about grace, because I think the words flow effortlessly down the page. Lovely writing...Keith.
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Post by rwinte82 on Apr 8, 2010 1:57:05 GMT -5
I like it! with a few minor edits it would make a very good minimalist poem. Keep writing!
Rosemary
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Post by lemieux on Apr 8, 2010 2:46:17 GMT -5
Lisa,
This poem of yours is heart-rending! The sense of displacement and hope detained is frighteningly vivid. I like poems like this that make the reader feel what they say. I commend you for your ability to do this!
Lemieux
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Apr 8, 2010 2:47:31 GMT -5
Hello Lisa, I echo the comments about grace, because I think the words flow effortlessly down the page. Lovely writing...Keith. Hello Keith, thanks so much! I appreciate your kind comments |
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Apr 8, 2010 2:49:20 GMT -5
I like it! with a few minor edits it would make a very good minimalist poem. Keep writing! Rosemary Thanks for commenting, Rosemary |
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Apr 8, 2010 2:50:50 GMT -5
Lisa,
This poem of yours is heart-rending! The sense of displacement and hope detained is frighteningly vivid. I like poems like this that make the reader feel what they say. I commend you for your ability to do this!
Lemieux
Hello Lemieux, Thank you so much for commenting on my poem |
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Post by Silent-One on Apr 8, 2010 3:02:51 GMT -5
great flow, emotion and tone in your poem, good write!
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Post by Cherrie on Apr 8, 2010 3:21:32 GMT -5
a real beauty of a poem!
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Post by ken on Apr 8, 2010 3:43:09 GMT -5
this is a gem of a poem!
love these lines:
"scattered
footsteps
caked
in mud"
[/i]
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you do spin a "story" well in your poetry...well-expressed and written 
so much dear Betty!
and 
all
time for me 
echoes, hope you all are doing well 
