FRAGMENTS (Nonet)

[Lisa Arnold]

fragments of starlight in midnight sky
moonlight-glint caresses the sea
his eyes display apathy
hers covets gentle hope
side by side they walk
thinking of days
when their love
had not
crashed

[/b]

[Carin]

very nice, you are good with these, you seem to be on a roll with them

love the lines:

fragments of starlight in midnight sky
moonlight-glint caresses the sea

[icee]

good form, nice imagery, sad how loves sometimes fades...


I would like to suggest changing the word moonlight-glint to moonlight-gleam

[ken]

good attention to detail in your poem, true to form, it is sad when loves dissolves...nice work

[Lee]

I suggest changing "crashed" to "ceased"

very nice lines and form, well-expressed

[Lisa Arnold]

thanks everyone!

Lee, I will think that word change over:)

[MoonMuse]

This is a beaut Lisa. You did get really good with these. I like the suggestion of cease. Over all, well crafted good job

[Brianna]

well-crafted! I like the suggestion of "ceased" as well but it works either way for me. nice work

[Lisa Arnold]

thanks so much everyone, I deeply appreciate the comments and feedback!

[Silent-One]

love the way this one unfolds, and I like the feeling of uncertainty you leave the reader with, well-done, great form as well

[Lisa Arnold]

thanks so much, Harry

love is a funny thing, it's always up and down

[Brian]

very well-done, Lisa

[Toni]

great job on this, Lisa!

I do like the suggestion of "ceased"

[Cherrie]

I like these, you write them well:)

[narukun]

I loved it, simple yet very meaningfull! Great one!