That Purse

[michaelgallatin]

She waded in with a curse,
she wanted that purse,
it was something
she just had to buy.

So she moved left and right,
put up one Hell of a fight,
if you asked her,
she couldn't say why.

A woman quite large,
derriere big as a barge,
other buyers
had better beware.

If you gave her a glance,
you'd see not a chance,
no way while
she remained there.

But one skinny, small gal
said, "I won't take this pal,
your bulk won't
ruin my day!"

And then from her old purse
with a shove and a curse,
out came that
damned pepper spray.

The fat lady screamed,
this was not what she'd dreamed,
as she realized
she had been beat.

Her poor eyes were burned
but a lesson she learned,
even Goliath can
come to defeat.

The little woman walked out the door,
she wanted no more,
as she clutched
the purse in her fist.

With a quite evil smile
she paraded in style
and by Black Friday's sunshine
was kissed.

Michael "Not Shopping On BF" Gallatin

Author's Note - The Friday after Thanksgiving in the US in called "Black Friday". It's a day of shopping sales when all the truly avid, and slightly insane, shoppers run around jostling eachother for bargains. The news said that this year one of three shoppers went. And it's a madhouse! People get trampled, I'm serious here! Robbers wait in the parking lots! So, this incident I describe is not entirely improbable. Nope, not for me, I'll gladly skip it! Best of luck to the crazies who go!

[johan]

Black Friday! can't stand shopping anyway Michael, good expression my friend, also great poetry.

Andrew

[michaelgallatin]

Thanks Johan! This poem became a bit less amusing and a lot more scary after I discovered that it really happened. A woman in Los Angeles sprayed other shoppers with pepper spray. Most interestingly I found out about it after I'd written this and posted it here. She was trying to get to a Xbox 360 (video game machine) sale before other people did. Twenty people complained of burning eyes and sore throats. She turned herself into the police.

Namaste,
Mike

[purplespirit]

Excellent and so vividly told, it keeps the curiosity aglow till the end. I can easily forget about any bargain because I cannot bear any pressure and hectic of a sale. Therefore I could really enjoy your great poem Mike and that you discovered it was even a real story in the end, it does not really surprise me, does it..(smile)
Thanks for the pleasure! Ulla xx

[michaelgallatin]

Sales are OK and everyone looks for a bargain. My wife loves garage sales, estate sales and church sales. But sales like this one where people are almost encouraged to act crazy and then they do, well, they're sad, stupid and dangerous. Glad you like the poem!

Take care,
Mike