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Post by Jay on Jan 19, 2005 19:38:47 GMT -5
new shoes on
heavy october rains fall
I try to avoid rain puddles
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jan 20, 2005 19:16:48 GMT -5
I like this one Jay, thanks for posting 
would it read better if you switched the lines around?
"heavy october rains fall
new shoes upon my feet
I avoid rain puddles"
just a thought 
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Post by Tina on Jan 21, 2005 2:50:24 GMT -5
like this one too Jay I think Lisa makes some good points ;D |
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Post by Jay on Jan 21, 2005 5:15:53 GMT -5
thanks Lisa and Tina I re-wrote it let me know what you think: heavy October rains fall
new shoes upon my feet
I leap over rain puddles |
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Post by Toni on Jan 21, 2005 20:31:33 GMT -5
I like both versions |
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Post by Jay on Jan 23, 2005 5:32:01 GMT -5
 I can't make up my mind but I think I'll og back to my original version new shoes on
heavy october rains fall
I try to avoid rain puddles
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jan 23, 2005 5:43:28 GMT -5
Hey Jay, I think you are right your first version is better and I like that you added "try" good job  |
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Post by Seashellstarz on Jan 23, 2005 22:23:12 GMT -5
:)Nice haiku.  |
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Post by Seashellstarz on Jan 23, 2005 22:24:16 GMT -5
>:(I.. think I like the first version more! ;D
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Post by Jay on Jan 24, 2005 6:58:32 GMT -5
thanks for the award ladies  |
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Post by Brian on Jan 24, 2005 19:59:26 GMT -5
congrats |
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I can't make up my mind but I think I'll og back to my original version
all
time for me 
echoes, hope you all are doing well 
Hello everyone, sorry I have been away from the site so long but I was swamped with work 
Aug 5, 2021 14:19:11 GMT -5
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Hello everyone, sorry I have been away from the site so long but I was swamped with work 
Aug 5, 2021 14:19:11 GMT -5
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