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Post by johan on Jul 7, 2008 14:29:05 GMT -5
I have been told that my rhyming scheme is wrong for this Petrarchan, I took it from the web site that Lisa printed, poet John Milton's scheme. A Sailor's LifeTo look down the docks of my sailor's life Of the vessels that have sailed me away To horizon's at the start of the day A blood red sun, as though cut with a knife Rising high in the sky to the blue Where cotton clouds take their different shapes A face, or circles, or bunches of grapes All stuck to the sky, as with hardened glue I stand on the bow of my charging ship The sails filled with wind from the rising storm Our course to the dark horizon ahead When the black squall screams the top-gallants rip We are in the trade winds, the air is warm This is my life, or until I am dead. Thank you all for your support, I have reconsidered, and will still enter my poem, thank you all.. Johan
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Post by heart2heart on Jul 7, 2008 17:42:13 GMT -5
Great job Johan - the best of luck to you ! Heart2Heart
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Post by rainbowrider on Jul 7, 2008 20:54:58 GMT -5
Amazing images, a life indeed,
RR
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jul 7, 2008 22:39:22 GMT -5
wonderful sonnet!
good luck and thanks for entering a poem for the challenge!
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Post by rrw on Jul 8, 2008 9:13:58 GMT -5
Very nice, Johan... good luck!
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Post by immusie on Jul 8, 2008 13:12:48 GMT -5
I can only agree Johan....this was a very well done write for the challenge...best of luck! musie
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Post by aquarianstar on Jul 9, 2008 17:24:36 GMT -5
Yikes, this is really good... are you a fan of sonnets, or not? Because if they're not your usual form then I take off my *invisible* hat to you. Fantastic piece of work and best of luck!!!
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Post by b4sunset on Jul 10, 2008 15:02:13 GMT -5
Stars, stars! very creative sonnet to boot..
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Post by Eddie on Jul 12, 2008 18:19:35 GMT -5
this is wonderful, please do not pull out of the competition, you are so very talented and I believe this competition was to be done all in fun, so please reconsider....
Eddie, a true fan of your work:)
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Post by stephen on Jul 15, 2008 6:26:31 GMT -5
Your metre is off several places. You are not following the rhyming requirements of the Petrarchan. Good, basic sonnet with potential for improvement. SL
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Post by johan on Jul 15, 2008 13:01:01 GMT -5
Appreciated Stephen, hope this is your correct name.
Johan
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Post by stephen on Jul 16, 2008 7:23:37 GMT -5
Good afternoon to you Johan, Please rest assured I am who I am Stephen Lewes living in London. I have always held a fascination for poetry and particularly sonnets having actually written about a hundred myself. Considering the rather hostile reception I have been given here at Echoes Of My Soul where my identify is questioned before I even post my first poem I have decided this is definitely not the poetry forum I wish to be member of. Good day to you Sir. Stephen L.
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