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Post by rainbowrider on Jul 7, 2008 20:52:19 GMT -5
Not the eons passing void, not the grey mind, Your beauty holds eternally a kiss, A kiss upon the milky way of bliss And in its splendor sweet romance, I find, One sip to quench the thirsting on the wind, With eager rush to know, to touch, I miss, Yet I must implore, my pen, to say this, To be fulfilled and never left behind! The well of your soul nourishes all birds Who hunger for your humble gracious nod, Whose spirit grasps for light, in poem plead, To seek this foolish quest in simple words, Your lush singing love song wills, thrills our sod So freely, your wellspring soul, to us speed!
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jul 7, 2008 22:38:25 GMT -5
excellent form and style, I wish you much luck in the challenge!
thanks for this wonderful poem!
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Post by johan on Jul 8, 2008 4:14:14 GMT -5
Excellent my friend, good luck in the comp.
Johan
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Post by rrw on Jul 8, 2008 9:11:25 GMT -5
Nice, RR! Good luck!
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Post by immusie on Jul 8, 2008 13:04:50 GMT -5
Haven't seen anything from you for a while RR....but then again, I was away for a while....I found this to be a pleasant read....Good Luck! musie
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Post by aquarianstar on Jul 9, 2008 17:27:58 GMT -5
Perfectly formed, inspiring work. Superb job and best of luck
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Post by b4sunset on Jul 10, 2008 14:56:37 GMT -5
I go.. woooh on this one, rain... you made it!
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Post by Eddie on Jul 12, 2008 18:25:00 GMT -5
a fine sonnet!
good luck!
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Post by rrw on Jul 13, 2008 9:34:42 GMT -5
Looks tight, RR! Good luck.
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Post by stephen on Jul 15, 2008 6:28:27 GMT -5
Your rhymes are correct. Syllables are off and so is metre some places. Good basic sonnet for improvement. SL
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Post by heart2heart on Jul 15, 2008 13:44:46 GMT -5
Hello Stephen and welcome to Echoes from me Rainbow Rider is a good friend of mine and I was the one to encourage him to enter this challenge. I have written a few sonnets myself in my time and I'm sure we would love to hear where his is "off" as you call it. Thanks Katriona (Wallace)
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