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Post by Lola on Jun 4, 2010 20:58:45 GMT -5
thank you everyone for all of the reads and warm comments! I hope to post another story soon! you are welcome, and I look forward to  another story from you  |
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jun 5, 2010 5:20:53 GMT -5
thanks bunches Lola, your kind words mean much to me and it was so nice to see you here!
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Post by Cyndi on Jun 6, 2010 8:55:27 GMT -5
great storytelling....enjoyed this much Lisa!
this one tugs at the heart, for sure...thanks for the fine post!
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jun 7, 2010 7:07:47 GMT -5
thanks Cyndi...I much appreciate you stopping by!
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Post by Joy on Aug 7, 2010 16:58:16 GMT -5
wow, this one blew me away 
I was riveted until the end. I am so glad the little boy's eyes opened 
Great detail and sense of storytelling, Lisa 
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Aug 7, 2010 17:21:08 GMT -5
;D Joy, your kind words have made me smile deep inside 
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Post by Lily on Sept 24, 2010 17:09:57 GMT -5
wow, I raelly love this story, it has all the main elements... you have much talent Lisa
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Post by cagedbird on Oct 17, 2010 8:26:55 GMT -5
A great read, Lisa. May it get published 4 all 2 read!
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Oct 17, 2010 14:06:08 GMT -5
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Oct 17, 2010 14:08:18 GMT -5
A great read, Lisa. May it get published 4 all 2 read!  |
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Post by Sierra on Oct 22, 2010 9:22:23 GMT -5
hey there, I thought you would like to know that a frend of mine read this story, and he really liked it!
I sent you his email
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Oct 22, 2010 15:17:12 GMT -5
thanks Sierra!!
I will email him soon!
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Oct 28, 2010 7:16:36 GMT -5
hey Sierra, I emailed and I we feel like old friends, thanks for telling him about me!
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Post by rrw on Jan 19, 2011 13:10:22 GMT -5
yeah, I think it works well. Straight forward telling of it. Works for me as a monologue... strucutre is sound... but sometimes I feel like I am ahead of the writer... I know what is going to happen before it happens. Too much foreshadowing. Could use a little more disconnection from one moment to the next. Example: We know as soon as the kid hits the door that something bad is going to happen. The mother doesn't know or else she wouldn't have let him go out. The reader should have the same state of mind as the character. Too me this is a good 1st draft.
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jan 21, 2011 3:21:30 GMT -5
Hi Robert, thanks for and commenting |
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another story from you 
all
time for me 
echoes, hope you all are doing well 
Hello everyone, sorry I have been away from the site so long but I was swamped with work 
Aug 5, 2021 14:19:11 GMT -5
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Hello everyone, sorry I have been away from the site so long but I was swamped with work 
Aug 5, 2021 14:19:11 GMT -5
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