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Post by rrw on Jan 24, 2012 10:59:14 GMT -5
 Yeah, that’s it. Just spray your pickled pig’s feet
eating head all over that fifty-six inch flat screen
you bought her last spring, her fifty-third birthday.
My, how she cried when she seen it,
wrapped them butter soft arms
‘round your thick red neck.
If she had killed you then with all that “love,”
I wouldn’t be here now, three in the morning,
trying to talk your dumb ass down.
But here I am... and there you are.
Fat ass squatting on that broken down couch
mama gave you on your wedding day.
There you are, drunk as always, head heavy
staring down at that fake bear rug we
fished out of a dumpster last summer.
Yeah, there you are whimpering like a beat pup,
rocking your pitiful self side to side, twenty-two
pistol in hand, the one daddy gave you.
And, of course, here I am, as usual, trying to close
the distance between us just in case you try
something really stupid.
“Want another beer, Bro?”
I think you nod yes; hard to tell... doesn’t matter.
If I can keep you drinking, maybe you’ll pass out.
Maybe then I can go home, get some sleep too.
Sure enough, just three sips and you’re gone. Your
head pops back against the couch, beer hand goes
limp, so does the one holding the gun.
I pick it up, put in my pocket, the barrel cold, lifeless.
There’s a beer stained blanket on the rocker. I put
it over you... then listen to you snore.
Outside, the sun is just coming up,
rising up over the thicket of Blackjacks
near the trailer. I take the gun out... stare at it. —rrw 8-10-11 ( rewrite 1-24-12) |
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Post by michaelgallatin on Jan 26, 2012 13:46:09 GMT -5
That's brotherly love! This poem is stark, it shows the depth of pain and sorrow into which a person can sink, so low that death is considered an escape. But on the flipside of the coin it also shows devotion, brotherhood and unconditional love. We all need someone "there for us" at times. Thank God this man had a kind, caring bro!
Mike
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Post by rrw on Jan 27, 2012 1:41:23 GMT -5
Thanks, Mike... working on getting closer to real life experiences... a more earthy approach to my poetry... I hope.
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Post by jbstillwater on Jan 27, 2012 16:09:33 GMT -5
Yikes, intense, your poetry is changing Robert just excellent. Not that it was not always, but there is a unique edge to what I am  from you these days. Loved it! |
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Post by rrw on Jan 28, 2012 1:29:08 GMT -5
Yikes, intense, your poetry is changing Robert just excellent. Not that it was not always, but there is a unique edge to what I am from you these days. Loved it! Thanks, JB, been a lot of different writers and books on craft. Hope I can put some of the new stuff up on your site. |
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jan 28, 2012 11:02:31 GMT -5
great style and well-written, enjoyed the read, thanks for the post Robert!
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Post by rrw on Jan 28, 2012 22:08:07 GMT -5
great style and well-written, enjoyed the read, thanks for the post Robert! Thanks, Lisa. As alays it is an honor to be a part of this site. |
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Post by Lisa Arnold on Jan 29, 2012 7:26:56 GMT -5
you are welcome Robert and I am so happy you like being part of the site cause we love that you are part of the Echoes family, have a great Sunday!
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Post by purplespirit on Jan 29, 2012 16:22:52 GMT -5
Awesome poem though the issue is so sad and serious. It is powerful in expression and imagery, touching the inside and also filled with precious love. About whatever you write, you always give with full hands RRW, thank you! Ulla xx
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Post by rrw on Jan 29, 2012 18:52:46 GMT -5
you are welcome Robert and I am so happy you like being part of the site cause we love that you are part of the Echoes family, have a great Sunday! Well, been one a pretty long time.. do go away for long periods... but always find my way back. |
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Post by rrw on Jan 29, 2012 18:54:38 GMT -5
Awesome poem though the issue is so sad and serious. It is powerful in expression and imagery, touching the inside and also filled with precious love. About whatever you write, you always give with full hands RRW, thank you! Ulla xx Thanks, PS. I am Digging deeper... looking to craft a little more... want to publish one of these days... |
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Post by johan on Feb 6, 2012 7:56:46 GMT -5
You kow Rob, this different style of yours really hits the button, though as always you meander and it's a great way to write, have tried but just can't get it right, enjoyed the graphic as well as the poetry.
Johan
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Post by rrw on Feb 7, 2012 11:24:20 GMT -5
Actually, there is a shorter version of this that cuts the wife totally out of it... my "editor" suggested the cut... but it didn't feel total to me with out that bit of exposition. I think the key to writing the lingering poems is to just make changes from one idea to another.... the connection is usually in the moment....
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from you these days. Loved it!
and 
all
time for me 
echoes, hope you all are doing well 
