That One Last Bite (With Alternate Ending)

[michaelgallatin]

Author's Introduction - I wrote this back on 7/23/09 and may have posted it here or elsewhere back then. Now, looking back, I wish I'd been less jovial and a lot more sober about it. I was getting fat then and I'm even larger now. It's no longer funny as a doctor's physical aptly pointed out. That's why I included a somewhat different ending as well. So, here goes readers!

I knew as I took
that one last bite
that my stomach
was acting funny,
something wasn't
quite all right.

One minute I
was eating
that delicious stew
and then kaboom,
apart at the seams
I quickly blew.

I don't mean
that I threw up,
could have easily
dealt with that.
I tore right open
as I was too damn fat.

All that was in there
fell out onto the floor.
There was just
so very, very much
that I could not
hold it anymore.

Laying before me
was popcorn and
one large, candied yam,
some bread and butter,
pickled artichokes
and a few slices of ham.

Mashed potatoes,
mixed vegetables
and applesauce,
so my friends
what should I do,
I was at a loss?

Several cookies,
melted ice cream
and a piece of pie,
so dear readers
what should I do,
Hell, I could even die?

Lots of onion rings,
a tossed salad and
some porterhouse steak,
so tell me what to do.
I can't make a mistake!

And I looked and
looked some more,
then started to grin.
Why, I just picked
it all right up again
and put it back in.

Then I sewed
myself up
without any glitches.
Today all you
can see are the marks
of my stitches.

I'm a pound
or two slimmer
but not much by far
and I've got
a sudden craving
for a big Snickers bar!

Michael "If I'd Only Known!" Gallatin
7/23/09

Alternate ending -

And I looked
and looked as
I started to cry.
I'd messed
it all up and
didn't even know why.

Loving food is OK
but best not
eat too much.
Can't shove it in
til you're held up
by a crutch.

So, I'm an example
my friends of
what not to do
as Death knocks on
my door and
I see life is through!

Michael "Folks I Know Now!" Gallatin
2/7/09

[johan]

Ouch Michael! read this three times, oh dear what a mess your mind was in he he and what a mess before you, enjoyed the read though.

Johan

[rrw]

Me too! Funny and disturbing... AND I'm rather disturbed by my weight these days... heavier than I have ever been. Rather grim the whole poem, but still, gotta laugh at some of it.

[michaelgallatin]

Gentlemen,

I did take the jovial path at first, the "it can't happen to me" trail that so many people delude themselves with. And it's been fun! I love food and I love to eat, one of the simple pleasures of life. But, alas, so much that tastes great isn't good for you! It's loaded with sugars, starches, fats, etc. and so as you shovel in that tasty grub, you also pile up the calories and the fat layers. When I got married in 1975, I may have been hefty at 180 but I wasn't FAT. Now at the same 5'7" I weigh 260, that's a gain of 80 pounds, 80 pounds guys! And I marvel at just how easy that was too! There's heart trouble, diabeties and cancer in my family. And then there's always having a stroke! Oh yeah, sleep apnea too! Then just the general nuisance and discomfort of feeling tired, snoring, shortness of breath, etc. So my friends, the second ending was meant to be graphic and sobering. It's not a joke anymore unless you enjoy black humor! Now it's become a cautionary tale! So, please be careful!

Take care friends,
"Fat Mike" Gallatin

PS - Fat Mike, sounds like Mafia! Ah well, I can still laugh a tiny bit!

PPS - Just so you all know, no serious diagnosis yet but my last physical was a wake up call!

[purplespirit]

Auah! First ending is nicer but more dangerous (smile!!). Most of us lead a much too good life nowadays and the problems weight are already an issue for children. Perhaps we often treat us with food because of any other missing facts and I have been told, that if we only eat when we feel hungry we will never get overweight. Serious now, it is good you want to take care of yourself but believe me, success will not occur if you punish yourself now to only vegetables cooked in water..... I wish you the best and I am sure you will make it, step by step and every pound lost will be a "gem to the crown of joyful pride"! Good luck my friend! Ulla xx

[michaelgallatin]

It's a mind-set and a matter of having the willpower to do what you know you need to do. I got myself to being this heavy so now I've seriously got to un-heavy myself about 50 or 60 pounds. Not an easy task but others have done it so I hope I can too if I work at it!

Take care,
Mike