Poetry

Seashellstarz Echoes Family Member If youth is supposed to be of passion and dreams, then I hold somewhat of my youth. Posts: 755	Poetry Feb 21, 2005 16:42:27 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Seashellstarz on Feb 21, 2005 16:42:27 GMT -5 Her poetry was written in verses of life His rhyming lines were muse by a deathly love A sonnet rhymes the poets' writing
	Everything will be eventually forgotten... and forgiven.

MoonMuse Echoes Family Member Living Dead Girl Posts: 3,575	Poetry Feb 22, 2005 7:54:33 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by MoonMuse on Feb 22, 2005 7:54:33 GMT -5 Very nice. I love Sonnets
	Nightlife calls me. Through her I am free. It's the only way to be, all caught up in a mystery! Born with full moon fever, I can make you a believer! For I am the moonchild, truly born to be wild! [/color] [/center]

Cherrie Echoes Family Member Friend of Echoes Loving This Beautiful Life Posts: 1,002	Poetry Feb 22, 2005 16:19:13 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Cherrie on Feb 22, 2005 16:19:13 GMT -5 well written, good write ;D
	"Trying to step out of my own way"

Seashellstarz Echoes Family Member If youth is supposed to be of passion and dreams, then I hold somewhat of my youth. Posts: 755	Poetry Feb 22, 2005 16:50:44 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Seashellstarz on Feb 22, 2005 16:50:44 GMT -5 Thanks!
	Everything will be eventually forgotten... and forgiven.

Tina Lounge Moderator[/size] Finding Inner Peace Chasing Echoes Posts: 1,142	Poetry Feb 24, 2005 2:21:25 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Tina on Feb 24, 2005 2:21:25 GMT -5 good job
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Brian
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LonePoet
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Searching for my mind

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Poetry Feb 24, 2005 8:16:59 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Brian on Feb 24, 2005 8:16:59 GMT -5

Hi Shellz,

your haiku is written well, but traditional haiku only has 17 syallables (5-7-5) and you have over 30 and modern haiku should have no more than 21 syallables.

With a rewrite this would be a fantastic haiku

for example the first line could read:

her poetry; verses of life

"Trying to succeed"

Jay Echoes Family Member Friend of Echoes striving to believe Posts: 622	Poetry Feb 24, 2005 15:54:33 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Jay on Feb 24, 2005 15:54:33 GMT -5 I agree with Brian, haiku, modern or traditional, cannot be 30 syallbles ;D but it is a great start

Seashellstarz Echoes Family Member If youth is supposed to be of passion and dreams, then I hold somewhat of my youth. Posts: 755	Poetry Feb 24, 2005 16:48:55 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Seashellstarz on Feb 24, 2005 16:48:55 GMT -5 :)Oh, I see, thanks! (When I first started I was writing a poem, but I never really continued. I didn't mean to post it at the haiku section... but I don't think it can go into the poetry section either...)
	Everything will be eventually forgotten... and forgiven.