ASPHALT

Lisa Arnold Administrator Founder Belief is Power! Within a winter's shadow rests mourning's light"...the human soul cannot be permanently chained." - W.E.B. DuBois Believe in You! Posts: 16,456	ASPHALT Jun 21, 2007 4:53:58 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Lisa Arnold on Jun 21, 2007 4:53:58 GMT -5 distant train whistles midnight rain falls lone footsteps echo on damp asphalt
	Last Edit: Apr 14, 2011 3:12:31 GMT -5 by Lisa Arnold dreams echo within...

Sara Echoes Family Member Billy is my Prince! Friend of Echoes Posts: 830	ASPHALT Jun 21, 2007 5:44:23 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Sara on Jun 21, 2007 5:44:23 GMT -5 very vivid images, nice work, Lisa!

Eddie Echoes Family Member Friend of Echoes Am I here? Posts: 860	ASPHALT Jun 21, 2007 6:07:38 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Eddie on Jun 21, 2007 6:07:38 GMT -5 great haiku, love it!

Brian Echoes Family Member LonePoet Friend of Echoes Searching for my mind Posts: 1,140	ASPHALT Jun 21, 2007 8:05:07 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Brian on Jun 21, 2007 8:05:07 GMT -5 great work, I am not sure, but should there be the word "on" in your last line? love it!
	"Trying to succeed"

ciara Echoes Family Member Motivated by Passion Friend of Echoes Posts: 821	ASPHALT Jun 21, 2007 8:57:11 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ciara on Jun 21, 2007 8:57:11 GMT -5 very nice, it works without the "on" for me
	waiting for life to begin

b4sunset Echoes Family Member Posts: 7,378	ASPHALT Jun 21, 2007 14:54:21 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by b4sunset on Jun 21, 2007 14:54:21 GMT -5 Stunning and utterly contemporary, lisa. Bow!

Lisa Arnold Administrator Founder Belief is Power! Within a winter's shadow rests mourning's light"...the human soul cannot be permanently chained." - W.E.B. DuBois Believe in You! Posts: 16,456	ASPHALT Jun 21, 2007 17:40:19 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Lisa Arnold on Jun 21, 2007 17:40:19 GMT -5 thanks so much Sara, Eddie, Brian, Ciara and b4sunset, I really appreciate your nice comments!
	dreams echo within...

Silent-One Echoes Family Member Friend of Echoes Riding The Waves Posts: 659	ASPHALT Jun 21, 2007 21:29:22 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Silent-One on Jun 21, 2007 21:29:22 GMT -5 very nice....a vivid haiku
	Remembering where I was, so I will know where I am going...

Brianna Lounge Moderator[/size] Posts: 1,296	ASPHALT Jun 22, 2007 3:31:17 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Brianna on Jun 22, 2007 3:31:17 GMT -5 very nice work Lisa

Dana Echoes Family Member Friend of Echoes beginning again Posts: 983	ASPHALT Jun 22, 2007 23:53:55 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Dana on Jun 22, 2007 23:53:55 GMT -5 great work!

amuseme
Echoes Full Member

Soul Music

Posts: 243

ASPHALT Jun 23, 2007 0:20:19 GMT -5

Quote

Post by amuseme on Jun 23, 2007 0:20:19 GMT -5

Hi Lisa-Interesting Haiku...Loved the image! I have not seen one written like this before....5,4,4,3 syllable count? Would you be willing to give me some insight to this, so that I might understand the format a little better/or use of it? ...thanks. AM

Last Edit: Jun 23, 2007 0:23:44 GMT -5 by amuseme

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in
others belong to us as well." Voltaire

Lisa Arnold
Administrator

Founder
Belief is Power!
Within a winter's shadow rests mourning's light"...the human soul cannot be permanently chained." - W.E.B. DuBois

Believe in You!

Posts: 16,456

ASPHALT Jun 23, 2007 4:26:05 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Lisa Arnold on Jun 23, 2007 4:26:05 GMT -5

Thanks Harry, Brianna, Dana and Amuseme

:-*AM, to answer your question, I am using a modern approach in my haiku, modern haiku can be as little a 3 words or can run a few syllables over the normal 17 syllable count...

not all haiku follows the 5-7-5 pattern, especially haiku that is found in leading haiku magazines

here you will find many different forms of the haiku:

simplyhaiku.com/

dreams echo within...

Bob Moderator[/size] Haiku Enthusiast! Forever hoping Posts: 2,487	ASPHALT Jun 23, 2007 6:38:49 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Bob on Jun 23, 2007 6:38:49 GMT -5 yes this is a prime example of the modern haiku good job, Lisa!
	striving to believe in myself

amuseme Echoes Full Member Soul Music Posts: 243	ASPHALT Jun 24, 2007 8:29:46 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by amuseme on Jun 24, 2007 8:29:46 GMT -5 I see...well thank you for the info guy's....I will look at the link....appretiated....AM
	"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well." Voltaire

ciara Echoes Family Member Motivated by Passion Friend of Echoes Posts: 821	ASPHALT Jun 25, 2007 7:23:23 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ciara on Jun 25, 2007 7:23:23 GMT -5 good job, I like modern haiku, I think sticking to the 5-7-5 style is becoming passe, at least from what I have been both in print and online
	waiting for life to begin