didn't want say

[DartxNi]

So.... I did it. I told my dad I was transgendered, and that I was thinking about transitioning. I don't know if I will. I didn't want to tell my dad, not until I was sure I was going to transition, but he wants me to co-own his business so that it can be a women owned business, and I thought the only fair thing was to tell him that I might not be the right 'woman' for the job. I told him over the phone.

He said, don't. Please don't. He said that hormone's are a crazy thing to do to your body, and that surgery is radical too. I told him that I know that, that I understood, and that was one of the reason's I've been holding off.

He told me he might pay for half the money for a psychologist, so that I can figure this out. He made the very illuminating comment that all this stuff I'm thinking about must be making it very hard for me to act. I told him, yes, it's a bit like being a computer with too many programs running, slow, and tending to freeze up.

I really can't believe I told him, and the sorrow in his voice reminded me why. He told me the other guy I work with in his company, Mark, thought that if I wasn't gay and queer, he'd really like to date me. I guess to remind me that if I wanted to, I could be a successful heterosexual woman.

I really didn't want to tell him.

I also had to lay on the double whammy of the fact that I didn't know if I wanted to make his business my career or not. I like working for him, but its a big step to move from that to co-owning the business. Especially since I'm only 20.

[amuseme]

Confirms my original post....don't feel alone in the telling to a parent my friend...although I am much older you never forget the initial reaction.....family? Yes

P.S. did you mean for the title to be what it was or something like I didn't want to say"? Or maybe and just a suggestion....but what about just I DID IT? As I say just a suggestion...for the story is yours.....

[DartxNi]

Its true that it is an achievement, as you say. But I didn't intend to tell him until I was sure. He's never been all, Mr. Supportive. But I am glad I told him, to give him time to assimilate the information. It took him 4 years to tell me he was fine and accepting of me being gay, so I think time is the greatest changer of feelings.

Besides, its not as if he's the sort to ever reject me. He just looks at me with great big puppy eyes and says he's soo sad.

My dad has a BS in psychological warfare.

[amuseme]

A very difficult situation all the way around...glad it only took 4 years for acceptance, that's all we ask, isn't it..not to understand....my folks still have a hard time...as well, as I have been shamed to death by religion for years...basically from my dad who became a devout Nazarine Minister after years of drinking, carousing and womanizing for years prior to that, while he was still married to my Mother. I think he's been placing his own shame and guilt on me....