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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 0:20:27 GMT -5
let's see some creativity
new topic...typing poems with no hands
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 0:25:05 GMT -5
 race against timeWe cry by the river band, with sadden evening wind three of us tearing together, as the river howling by they will leave the country tomorrow, leave only I alone here with the same river, both we leave behind evening hours fly, as if the running of the time friends we sit by the table, cheers with rich wine to cheer for a better tomorrow, to cheer for tonight as if we make the most of our joys, to race against time... years are passing by, now I am here to live and locate friends are far away, some are on the earth other side through books and poetries my mind walks long ways meet friends through silent words, like race against time... river is still running in my mind, same as the busying time I live through books and live through write, all part of life body can only live and decay, but mind can live beyond lights I 'll savor friendships and cherish life, to race against time... image:http://i387.photobucket.com It's a colorful write...your rhyme scheme changed from the first stanza...but you did ok CD hey CD, thank you very much for your advice! I will try hard to improve on future days ok! thankyou very much CD! |
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 0:28:25 GMT -5
Another good write Sunny, Your rhyming structure needs to be consistent throughout the poem though...I see the first stanza as a contract to the reader...it's what they expect...if the first stanza doesn't rhyme, I don't expect or want the rest of the poem to be different. If you establish the rhythm and the rhyme early, the reader picks that up and expects it to be there for the rest of the poem...You have a special gift with word choice...keep at it.
CD
ok CD. thank you very much for your advice! I will try hard to improve that in later days ok! and I will remember it when write ok... thank you so much cD for such good advices ok!
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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 0:33:29 GMT -5
more than welcome my friend...how about a happier write from me too...I've noticed dark themes from me lately and that's really not my style...looking forward to writing something more upbeat for you... how about you give me a challenge...
CD
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 0:44:13 GMT -5
let's see some creativity new topic...typing poems with no hands CD, it is fun... I am in, ok off I go now! |
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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 1:22:09 GMT -5
looking forward to your response my friend
CD
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 1:51:05 GMT -5
let's see some creativity new topic...typing poems with no hands  typing poems with no hands
In the dream of my morning garden
golden dusts there dazzling shine...
embrace me as I step in entrance
softly veil on my shouders two sides
there are long reeds singing light
harmony with bushes by and by
silhouette of horizon softly floats
like fresh dawn laying a dewy rose!
each step as if draw a poet's pen
words of flowers and lyrics of trees
blossoming dots like written tense
rhyming of the wind and the breeze
when I roam to the hills and fields
long trails of poems seem to follow
green and ruby of rainbow views
Nature's poetry so golden and mellow!
Oh! I go and flow with poem that floats,
As nature's fingers type a beautiful prose... [/b] image: http:i414.photobucket.com/[/color] |
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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 5:59:38 GMT -5
good write...but where is the rhyme scheme
CD
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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 6:06:03 GMT -5
here's a topic I got before...hunting in an empty zoo.
Have fun
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 6:36:58 GMT -5
good write...but where is the rhyme scheme CD ok... I understand now... you mean the whole poem has to have one rhyme? ooooo.. I see... I usually put each stanza with each different rhyme... so that is not good uh? ok then... I change it the next one, teach me more ok? if the next one still not good, can you please example some of my lines to me... and then I will easier to understand what you mean ok? please please please CD..... ok... I go for you next one... |
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 6:41:00 GMT -5
here's a topic I got before...hunting in an empty zoo. Have fun you say you will choose a up beat topic.... haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you just can not get away from sad theme CD? how can hunting is up beat when need to use gun and gun to hunt? haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa CD, CD, after this one, let me make one topic ok? ok... now let me try to write this into up beat heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee that is a challenge for me you poetry friend! |
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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 6:43:31 GMT -5
I made it fun... I'll see if I can find it
CD
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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 7:05:27 GMT -5
nope lost in the internet somewhere
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Post by sunny on Feb 21, 2009 8:20:32 GMT -5
here's a topic I got before...hunting in an empty zoo. Have fun  hunting in an empty zoo
...................once upon time childhood adventure............
Once we had fun where lays a fountain
group of us pretend to be adventure one
set off homes we climb up to mountains
trees are huge and roots have some flourish
leaves bury our little trails in the wood
we got lost in the thicken heart of forest
eat some mushrooms and drink the pond
all the way long we pick wild red berries
no where near village we just keep go on
the valley looks like a natural wild zoo
it seems we disturb mountain Hogs home
now they are hunting us for their food!
sun is sliding down the day turns dark
their eyes like twinkles among the trees
many Hogs are following us from the far!
grab some stones we pretend brave guys do
run as fast we can our little teenager's legs
let hogs and foxes hunting in an empty zoo![/b] image:http://i187.photobucket.com ** CD, mmmmm I really had struggle on this one... I have no inspiration at all in my head,,,, maybe you should give me some tips and help me out a little uh? my friend? anyway... this is all I can come up with and in between the writing I even fall asleep again.... haaaaaaaaaaa..... let me know about the rhyming things ok? point out to me ok? please, and thank you CD! |
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Post by cdlight on Feb 21, 2009 14:49:10 GMT -5
I wish i could find my response to this one...it is one of the hardest ones I ever got.
stay with it bro...
CD
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all
time for me 
echoes, hope you all are doing well 
Hello everyone, sorry I have been away from the site so long but I was swamped with work 
Aug 5, 2021 14:19:11 GMT -5
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Hello everyone, sorry I have been away from the site so long but I was swamped with work 
Aug 5, 2021 14:19:11 GMT -5
*